‘No’ is your friend, not your enemy.

Yes or No

Most of my life I have said Yes to people when I really wanted to say No. I said Yes because I wanted people to like me. I thought if I said No then people wouldn’t like me.

This thinking was flawed because lots of people say No to me and I still like them.

In fact, some of the people who say No most often are the people I admire the most.

I saw No as my enemy because I assumed saying No would cause people to dislike me.

But here’s the thing.

The fact is people don’t change. Right now in your life a third of people who know you really like you. Saying No to them will not stop them liking you.

Another third of people hate you. Saying Yes to them will not make them like you.

The other third of people you know couldn’t give a damn about you either way. They are not going to change either.

So saying Yes when you want to say No will not make you more popular.

Saying No will not make you less popular.

Saying No will bring you more peace because you will avoid spending time doing things you really don’t want to be doing.

You have a right to say No.

Some people say ‘Jump!’ and we ask ‘How high?’ We should be saying No. We are not going to jump.

You have a right to say ‘No, I can’t answer you today and need a few days to think about it.’

You have a right to say No to bullying.

You have a right to say No to people who use you or give nothing in return.

Recently I have tried to stop saying Yes when I mean No.

Sometimes I phrase it like this: That wouldn’t be helpful at the moment. I just need some space.

Saying No has brought a new peace into my life.

When we are always available to everyone, to do what they want us to do, we are making ourselves of low value. Anything that is in free supply is always cheap.

But when the availability of something is restricted the value increases – people will always pay more for something that is rare.

As we roll into the Christmas period later this year, I can guarantee that there will be some new toy or gadget that will be in short supply and it will be the ‘MUST HAVE!’ item for Christmas. Watch the price go through the roof. People will pay any amount to have it because of the short supply.

You need to reduce the supply of you. You need to let others know that you are not available as much as you used to be. You need to say No.

When you say No, you will end up doing more of what energises you and brings you peace and life.

No is not your enemy.

No is your friend.

No watches out for you.

No gives you space to be you.

Saying No today releases us to say Yes to the right things later on.

The answer is No.

What’s your question?

‘Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.’

– Jesus


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